Whether you base it on statistics or just look at the broken relationships around you, cheating is the number one cause for failed relationships.
Even lesbians– who are generally known to be monogamous– have their fair share of stories of heartbreak from a cheating partner.
These are not surefire ways to know if your lover is cheating. However, these five clues might give you a hint that not everything is all right in the world.
Cheating: Phones
This has happened too often enough: when she keeps her phone closely guarded.
It’s no surprise since not only are phones used for verbal communication, they can also be used for text messaging, email, chat messaging, and other forms of online communication.
If she doesn’t normally hide her phone, she might have a reason why she’s hiding it.
Cheating: Projection
She may be accusing you of a number of things, like flirting with the waitress at the deli or how she can’t feel your love anymore.
If you don’t think her accusations are true, then there’s a chance she might be projecting her guilt on you.
It’s a little bit of self-defense, i.e. she’s trying to throw you off. But she might not be aware that she’s also projecting how she really feels.
Cheating: Bonding with your family
Your partner used to be close to your family. She would have lunches with your mom, or drink beer with your brother while watching a game.
However, it all suddenly stops. More than anything, this might indicate that there might be some cheating happening already.
Two things could explain this behavior. One, she’s feeling guilty when facing your family. Or two, she’s starting to pull away from them because she’s getting ready to move on.
Cheating: Upgrade on physical appearance
To quote Kevin Spacey in the movie American Beauty, “I just want to look good naked.”
If after ten years together, she’s trying to look good– it may be for someone else, given the decade of depreciation of caring what you look like to each other.
So if you notice her getting an upgrade on her wardrobe, it might be a midlife crisis of a different sort.
Cheating: She’s become nicer
Ironically, some people who are cheating become nicer people. As much as it hurts to say it, she’s in love and she’s happy. This happiness is now spilling onto you.
Because of this, she’ll tend to give you gifts that get bigger and more expensive.
It’s different to say that she wants to revive the relationship, but she wants you to be happy too.
Ultimately, you can feel if she’s cheating on you. If you feel her absences even when she’s around, that means there’s a growing distance between the two of you.