While other people come up with New Year resolutions, we’re coming up with New Year Lesbian Resolutions.
Love it or hate it, 2016 has been part of our lives – it’s the natural order of things. But even if the year past had been the worst for a lot of people (or the harbinger of even more bad times), we need to remember that something good always come out of anything bad.
That’s why for 2017, we offer you the Lesbian News New Year’s Lesbian Resolutions.
Lesbian resolutions #1: We promise to watch over Trump like a hawk
We’re not above sharing an occasional SNL video featuring Alec Baldwin as the Orange One. But the minute he messes up, we’ll be the first to write to our representative to impeach the former Celebrity Apprentice host.
We got to show the Orange One that we mean business this 2017.
Lesbian resolutions #2: We promise to support pro-LGBT shows like Sense8 more
Yes, we love this show. The Wachowski sisters’ latest creation is a pioneer on the small screen even as it does so much for LGBT visibility on TV.
To keep it alive for a long time, we’ll never miss a single episode of Sense8, mixed reviews be damned.
Lesbian resolutions #3: We’ll try not to have lovers’ quarrel
We know this is impossible. But we’ll try to work things out with our partners because thanks to same-sex marriage now being legal, this could lead to divorce.
Moreover, with the Orange One as president, same-sex marriage may not be as stable or certain as it is. Seriously, we don’t want to bring in the even messier picture of same-sex divorce.
In so doing, we will be patient and loving, not to mention faithful.
Lesbian resolutions #4: We’ll treat our partners in the LGBTQ with more consideration
Let’s already accept the fact that women have pansexual sexuality or are sexually fluid. We never know, we might be lesbians all our lives, but we could still get attracted and even fall in love with a man.
As it’s been said, the only thing constant in this world is death, taxes, and love. So love, just love.
Lesbian resolutions #5: We promise to be always be there for Ellen
Anybody who doesn’t love Ellen Degeneres is, well, just a person, so we respect that.
Still, we’ve always looked up to Ellen as an LGBTQ icon: she was one of those brave enough to step up and come out on the world stage when no one else would.
Ellen, you will never be alone because we’ll always be by your side. Thank you for those wonderful fashion looks you gave us.
Lesbian resolutions #6: We promise to cut down on one at least one vice
We don’t want to be discriminatory so choose whatever vice you like and cut it loose this 2017 for better health.
If it’s smoking, slap that patch on already and stop polluting our air. If it’s drinking, it’s more wonderful to remember things sober than through an alcoholic looking glass.
If you’re a couch potato, Netflix is our best friend but we also need space from each other. And a walk in the neighborhood can be good for us.
And there’s stress: admit it, some of us are addicted to this. Life is a balance of work and play. Life is short already, don’t make it shorter.
Lesbian resolutions #7: We promise to give you even better Lesbian News
Mark our words. Happy New Year, sisters!