A dummy’s guide to the perfect dildo

Admittedly, we all feel like dummies when we’re faced with the decision to buy a dildo because of the overwhelming number of different types.

But the truth of the matter is, most of us have to buy a couple of dildos before we can find the perfect one. That’s why we came up with a guide to help you out.

Size matters with the dildo

The first thing you have to remember is that dildos have sizes. The measurements are usually in length and circumference.

The best way to know what you like is using the finger test. Is it two? Is it three? Can you do four?

In measuring the diameter, you can use a tape measure to gauge the fullness of your need. Some want it big, others prefer normal sizes.

Usually the beginners lean towards the smaller ones. It’s okay to be a carpenter about it and measure it on paper if you have to.

In terms of length, know your and your partner’s taste. Most women don’t like the really long ones because it’s painful when it hits the cervix. Plus, dildos are usually designed to be short so it can hit the g-spot.

The shape and feel of the dildo

The shape of the dildo comes down to two schools of thought.

1. The cuties
The famous rabbits fall under this category. They’re designed to look like toys. Another one is the egg-shaped, designed so nobody willl know what they’re really for. In other words, the cuties are built to avoid embarrassing situations (like being caught on-camera).

2. The realistic
The other type of dildo is the exact image of a penis. Some of these dildos are usually smooth because some vaginas are sensitive, and the veiny, ribbed-type can cause friction. Still, there are some who like that rough feel.

Another popular one in the realistic category is the suction cup-based. Don’t ask, but it’s a bit of a wild ride.

The vibrating dildo

Vibrators were said to be invented to cure hysteria-afflicted women during the stuffy Victorian era. Fortunately for us, the inventor didn’t know that the vibrating apparatus made women climax, which is what they badly needed at the time.

However, vibrators are known to go all the way back to Cleopatra. Supposedly, she trapped raging bees inside a hollow gourd that made it vibrate.

In any case, vibrators are one of the most popular sex toys today and the definition of a dildo does include vibrators.

Keeping your dildo sanitary

Lastly, make sure your dildos are made of silicon. Right now, they’re the safest thing to put inside your vagina. Now, you can also go for wood or crystal, and you can put a condom over them if they’re too hard.

But make sure you avoid anything in rubber, jelly, or PVC as this type of dildo can be toxic or too hard to clean.