I Thought You Loved Me: A Collage Memoir

MariNaomi’s collage-comics memoir I Thought You Loved Me is like no book you have ever seen before. I Thought You Loved Me is a memoir about a long-term friendship that went wrong. My friend ghosted me when we were in our twenties. When I hadn’t gotten over it by the time I was in my forties, I thought it was time to write about it. Focusing on and explaining my experience was an attempt to exorcise my ghost, but then it turned into something else.

LN: Why did you choose to share this with the public versus working it out on your own?

MariNaomi: I have a therapist now, and I joke with her that if I’d started therapy earlier, I would’ve never written this book! But I wonder. I’ve talked about this experience a lot over the years, partly because it’s something that has shaped me, and still continues to do so. And partly because I think it’s an unusual but relatable experience. Lots of people have stories about close relationships mysteriously dissolving, or not getting over old broken friendships. I believe that reading about this could help those people process their own feelings. There’s also a voyeuristic element to it because the mystery behind our separation turned out to be a lot more scandalous than I had thought it would be.

Also, it’s important that there be more books about friendship out there! This is my second graphic memoir specifically about long-term friendships, and I hope I inspire others to make their own. I want to read them! Friendships are an important part of life that feels under-examined in literature and the media.

LN: Why did you choose to use collage, prose, and comics?

MariNaomi: I’ve always been drawn to collage and photography. When I started getting comfortable with creating art digitally (not long before I began making this book), collages became a lot more accessible. Like a lot of mid-career cartoonists, I have hand pain that makes analog collage a limited hobby. So now is the time!

In addition, I’m always looking for new ways to tell a story, as I get bored reusing the same methods and mediums again and again. That’s one reason graphic narrative is so appealing to me. There’s always something new to try, so it never gets stale! Of course, when you deviate from the norm, it’s a lot harder to sell a book, but I don’t mind some hardships if it makes it easier for others down the line. That’s my intention, at least.

MariNaomi is the founder and administrator of the Cartoonists of Color Database, the Queer Cartoonists Database, and the Disabled Cartoonists Database. They have taught classes for the California College of the Arts Comics MFA program and was a guest editor for PEN Illustrated. They were cohosts of the Ask Bi Grlz podcast with author Myriam Gurba.

For more information about MariNaomi and her work: marinaomi.com