Lesbian relationship expectations versus reality

Ah, lesbian relationship expectations. In whatever we do, there will always be a gap between expectation and reality– and lesbian relationships are no different.

For example:

Lesbian relationship expectations: Sex every night

Expectation – You’ll be having sex in every corner of your house. If your walls could speak, it’ll echo all your glass-breaking orgasm.

Likewise, You’ll be sexting all day with her while at work that by the time you see each other, you’re both so hungry, you practically rip each other’s clothes.

Reality – It’s really true.

But that’s only for the first three months of your relationships. After that, most nights, you’ll be scrolling through Netflix, looking for tonight’s bedtime movie.

Lesbian relationship expectations: The L Word community

Expectation – Like Bette and Tina, you’ll live in a cool house and your lesbian couple friends will always be dropping by your place. On weekends, you’ll be playing scrabble or what have you over drinks.

Because you’re the strong, power couple in your group, your house is open to everyone. Those going through a heartbreak will come to you.

Reality – Like regular people, not all our schedules jive and it would take months before you could see your lesbian friends. You’ll sometimes be so glad if they cancel on a Saturday night date.

Lesbian relationship expectations: Larger wardrobe

Expectation – When your partner or you moves in, both your clothes will be communal and that’ll mean double the size of your wardrobe choices. Her paisley blouse will look good on your black stretch pants.

Reality – Unless you’re both exactly the same size, chances are she’s heavier on the torso than you are, and her tops will hang loose on you.

Worse, her body will stretch your clothes and they’ll end up hanging loose on you, and vise versa.

Lesbian relationship expectations: You have magic hands

Expectations – The minute your hand touches her body it’ll know what to do. It was born with magical powers and can find all her pleasure spots once it goes inside her.

With a few flicks of the finger, orgasm will come one after the other.

Reality – Don’t just use your hand. Use your mouth too, and we don’t mean oral sex. If you want her to orgasm one after the other, you’re going to have ask her which parts feel good.

It’s not magic. It’s communication.

Lesbian relationship expectations: Things to talk about

Expectation – Because you’re women, you’re talkers, and you’ll spend most nights talking to each other: your dreams, your childhood, your favorite movie.

In the morning, over coffee, you’ll still be talking and you will never run out of things to say.

Reality – That’s real only for the first three months. After that, your conversation will revolve around who’ll walk Fluffy.